A Very Beatles Christmas
By Johnny Z., Philadelphia, PA
Can you pick out at least 40 Beatles songs in this ornament story? (there are more than 50)
Dear Prudence,
Thank you for the ornament shaped like a glass onion. It was so nice of you to think of me when you were back in the U.S.S.R. It is so beautiful. I love those classic, old Eastern European designs. And putting the Beatles — my favorites — in their Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band outfit was classic.
So this is Christmas, (no snow this year, only rain) and despite all the running around helter skelter, it is a good time to tell you what’s going on in my life and across the universe. Yesterday, the new guy at work gave out Christmas presents. He gave the office flake “Dizzy Miss Lizzy” a letter opener made of Norwegian Wood. I mean who gives out letter openers anymore!? I overheard one of the other guys at work say to him, “Hey Jude, you should make a play for her”, if not he was going to lose that girl.
Lizzy said she usually doesn’t date one guy exclusively instead she enjoyed being here, there and everywhere. But she said this boy, meaning Jude, is cute and really seems nice and Lizzy said she was interested in him. She said she didn’t care if he was only a junior accountant and would spend the rest of his career figuring out ways to understand the taxman, claiming that “money can’t buy me love.”
That night we go to the office Christmas party at this neat place called the Octopuses Garden, located right on Penny Lane. It was hooked up next to Revolution, that hot new dance club run by Maggie Mae, the famous signer from Philly. This year they did something nice as part of the money collected through chances and the like at the party was donated for the benefit of Mr. Kite, the old guy in the office who was diagnosed with kidney disease. He should be fine but that was nice to be all together now for a common cause. It was put together by Lady Madonna, I know that cheapo husband of hers, Dr. Robert wouldn’t have thought of that, all he gives to is the NRA, for him happiness is a warm gun.
As for Lizzie’s actions at the party, I saw her standing there before sidling up to Jude. She put on her best “Sexy Sadie” dress and tells him about her feelings and other things that only your mother should know. Now watching all this is our Human Resources manager, that nasty mean Mr. Mustard and his sycophant assistant Eleanor Rigby. Because he doesn’t want this to escalate into an office romance, he tells them “Hello. Goodbye” and pulls Jude away to chastise him telling him to stay away from Lizzie as it would lead him, nowhere, man. Jude says, “I should have known better” and apologizes.
Lizzy leaves. Jude leaves but sneaks back in. Eleanor was guarding the door like she was guarding Her Majesty so no one could get back in. Lizzy couldn’t be kept away. Lizzie had an idea but the girl needed help so she asked Long Tall Sally to give her a boost as she came in through the bathroom window, then motioned to Jude. They hooked up outside. Jude says, “Do you want to know a secret?” He whispers something in her ear; Lizzy screams out loud, “Baby, you’re a rich man!”
Yep, the truth is that Jude is loaded. They walked up the long and winding road to happiness thumbing their nose at Mr. Mustard who was left standing like the fool on the hill. It was enough to make you cry, baby, cry. So in the end she got her man.
You may say it’s only love. But it’s something else. It’s like fate. And just from me to you, maybe I’ll do the same with a guy I have had my eye on. Maybe I’ll go up and tell him that I’ve got to get you into my life. And he doesn’t need another girl. Or maybe it’s better to just let it be and act naturally.
Wow! Here comes the sun. Well, good day sunshine. I can’t believe I have been up all night wrapping gifts and eating a box of Savoy Truffles. Thanks again for the ornament. Let’s pick a time we can come together, our schedules aren’t so crazy that we should pick a date. I’m sure we can work it out. If I get a ticket to ride the train I will get back to see you soon.
Your best friend,
Michelle
And if I don’t say it enough — P.S. I love you.
Here are the Beatles songs highlighted:
Dear Prudence,
Thank you for the ornament shaped like a glass onion. It was so nice of you to think of me when you were back in the U.S.S.R. It is so beautiful. I love those classic, old Eastern European designs. And putting the Beatles — my favorites — in their Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band outfit was classic.
So this is Christmas, (no snow this year, only rain) and despite all the running around helter skelter, it is a good time to tell you what’s going on in my life and across the universe. Yesterday, the new guy at work gave out Christmas presents. He gave the office flake “Dizzy Miss Lizzy” a letter opener made of Norwegian Wood. I mean who gives out letter openers anymore!? I overheard one of the other guys at work say to him, “Hey Jude, you should make a play for her”, if not he was going to lose that girl.
Lizzy said she usually doesn’t date one guy exclusively instead she enjoyed being here, there and everywhere. But she said this boy, meaning Jude, is cute and really seems nice and Lizzy said she was interested in him. She said she didn’t care if he was only a junior accountant and would spend the rest of his career figuring out ways to understand the taxman, claiming that “money can’t buy me love.”
That night we go to the office Christmas party at this neat place called the Octopuses Garden, located right on Penny Lane. It was hooked up next to Revolution, that hot new dance club run by Maggie Mae, the famous signer from Philly. This year they did something nice as part of the money collected through chances and the like at the party was donated for the benefit of Mr. Kite, the old guy in the office who was diagnosed with kidney disease. He should be fine but that was nice to be all together now for a common cause. It was put together by Lady Madonna, I know that cheapo husband of hers, Dr. Robert wouldn’t have thought of that, all he gives to is the NRA, for him happiness is a warm gun.
As for Lizzie’s actions at the party, I saw her standing there before sidling up to Jude. She put on her best “Sexy Sadie” dress and tells him about her feelings and other things that only your mother should know. Now watching all this is our Human Resources manager, that nasty mean Mr. Mustard and his sycophant assistant Eleanor Rigby. Because he doesn’t want this to escalate into an office romance, he tells them “Hello. Goodbye” and pulls Jude away to chastise him telling him to stay away from Lizzie as it would lead him, nowhere, man. Jude says, “I should have known better” and apologizes.
Lizzy leaves. Jude leaves but sneaks back in. Eleanor was guarding the door like she was guarding Her Majesty so no one could get back in. Lizzie had an idea but the girl needed help so she asked Long Tall Sally to give her a boost as she came in through the bathroom window, then motioned to Jude. They hooked up outside. Jude says, “Do you want to know a secret?” He whispers something in her ear; Lizzy screams out loud, “Baby, you’re a rich man!”
Yep, the truth is that Jude is loaded. They walked up the long and winding road to happiness thumbing their nose at Mr. Mustard who was left standing like the fool on the hill. It was enough to make you cry, baby, cry. So in the end she got her man.
You may say it’s only love. But it’s something else. It’s like fate. And just from me to you, maybe I’ll do the same with a guy I have had my eye on. Maybe I’ll go up and tell him that I’ve got to get you into my life. And he doesn’t need another girl. Or maybe it’s better to just let it be and act naturally.
Wow! Here comes the sun. Well, good day sunshine. I can’t believe I have been up all night wrapping gifts and eating a box of Savoy Truffles. Thanks again for the ornament. Let’s pick a time we can come together, our schedules aren’t so crazy that we should pick a date. I’m sure we can work it out. If I get a ticket to ride the train I will get back to see you soon.
Your best friend,
Michelle
And if I don’t say it enough — P.S. I Love You
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